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Blog » It's the little things...
It's the little things...
If I'm not careful, I'll start going down the same route as the BBC newspage and talk to you about all the gloomy stuff that's going on at the moment. January is always a harsh month, with five weeks 'til payday and some fairly greyish weather, so adding to gloom is never a good plan. But today's sunshine did much to change the way I, and (I very much hope), the way you feel about things right now. Curious how the light can make us change perspective: a bit like standing up when taking a phone call, suddenly things seem different. And it's a good way to stave off the downward January spiral into gloom and despondency. After all it's the little things in life that make the biggest difference, like the sun shining for you on the way to work....
Some years ago, I taught a training course in Romania, and had to use an interpreter. It was fantastic to watch all the heads flicking from me to the interpreter and back again - like one of those televised tennis matches when you can see all the heads move to follow the ball. But what struck me most was when I said "It's always the little things that affect a partnership", and the heads all nodded furiously when the interpreter had delivered the line. It doesn't matter where you are, it's the little things that make the difference, like sunshine after four weeks of grey skies, like an unexpected show of chivalry or good manners, like something going right for a change! Funny how the little things stay with you at the expense of the big stuff.
This is so often the story that we find in mediation. It's the little things that make a big difference in relationships. Yes, the little bad things as well as the little good things. When relationships deteriorate and become unmanageable for the people involved, mediation can be seen as a big thing and for many, that's what it represents. But curiously, it's the little things that we focus on; little comments that have hurt and hindered, little acts that have been inexplicable and suddenly it's all become a huge pile of little things. Mediation works through disentangling the little things and carefully sorting through the positives so that they can be re-discovered - a bit like a sunny day in winter. It's so often the case that people really want to have a good relationship, but the accumulated issues have obscured that. Mediation can help make the positives clear again.
So as January draws to it's close, it might be good to look at some of your less obvious achievements - there could be some real treasure there, such as taking the time to say hi to your colleagues and friends! Time to store up some nuggets for your store of positives. It's often the way you do things.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHstlUiEaos
